The Archfornicator of Canterbury

22 Ruins of the Cathedral

The Voluntary Fire Brigade of Nuevo Saunabad was at the scene of the explosion less than half an hour after the fact. Due to the valiant efforts of the firemen, Archbishop Musilicus did not have to spend the rest of his days in the wine cellar. He was taken to the Royal University Hospital, where the emergency room was prepared for a major disaster but in fact did not receive any other victims of the blast, because there hadn't been any.

Even though night had already fallen, King Square was full of people who had come to witness the aftermath. An enterprising souvenir stall keeper was already selling commemorative shirts with "I WANTED TO CONFESS MY SINS AT THE CATHEDRAL AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT" emblazoned across the chest. Ashtrays and postcards depicting the Cathedral were sold out in no time flat. Those lucky enough to snap up one of the plastic bubbles with a miniature model of the Cathedral that would emulate a snowstorm when shaken would later go on to sell their bounty on eBay at highly elevated prices. Grilled yak sausages and yak milkshakes were devoured by the metric ton.

Bulimians, and the debonair urban professionals of Nuevo Saunabad in particular, loved to gossip. They also loved conspiracies. The square was already teeming with theories about who was responsible for the mayhem. A lone Lobotomian bomber on a suicide mission was suggested, uncannily anticipating Jeb Peterson's article in tomorrow's Royal National Herald. According to others it was the work of Lower Bulimian separatists. This theory was generally discounted, as there weren't too many of them alive given that the separatist movement had last been active around the turn of the last century. Some of the more fanciful minds were absolutely certain that UFOs had arrived and destroyed the Cathedral with a high energy blast in a display of their technological superiority. There weren't too many of those who supported this possibility, even though it would later turn out not to have been that far off the mark.

Among all the townspeople who had been brought down to the square by their curiosity, there were two people who actually knew who had blown up the Cathedral. One of them had placed the charges himself.

"Would you like a yakwurst Hildegard."

"Thank you Judas but no. I've already eaten. Why don't you go ahead and have one yourself."

"Don't mind if I do. A yakwurst on a roll please. With mustard and ketchup."

"Anything to drink Sir."

"A milkshake. Vanilla."

"We're out of vanilla. How about sauerkraut."

"Very well. How much."

"A rallod twenty all up. Thank you kind Sir. Here's your hot dog. The boy will draw you your shake."

"Thank you. Hildegard are you sure you don't want one. These are delicious. Mm-mm."

"No thank you. Shall we try to get a bit closer to the ruins."

"Yes let's."

It was not easy to navigate through the crowd, as everyone wanted to see the destruction first hand. Finally, Hildegard and Judas were able to slip through.

"Do you think this will do."

"You did good Judas. I'm sure whatever is left of the Cathedral will not be an issue."

"There's not much else to do but wait then is there."

"No I suppose not. Let's try to find somewhere to sit down."

The Archfornicator of Canterbury by Olli-Pekka Rinta-Koski
is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 Australia License.