The Archfornicator of Canterbury

72 Let's go, it's time to travel

The alien landing was front page news all over the world. Religious leaders hurried to give conflicting statements about the meaning of the events in Bulimia. Some of the more astute ones, such as the Pope, decided to stay put and see how things would unfold before taking any sides.

The UN General Assembly had been called together to discuss the appropriate reaction to this. Prior to this, the Security Council had already met and stated as their opinion that the aliens did not pose an immediate military threat to Bulimia or any other country. This did not, of course, prevent the US from planning a pre-emptive nuclear strike on Nuevo Saunabad in the event that the aliens were judged to be about to misbehave. Aircraft carriers started moving to strategic positions, and attack submarines were given new target coordinates. When confronted by the French over this, the Americans simply said that it was all part of an exercise that had been planned months before anyone had even heard of the aliens. Surely they couldn't be expected to call off an expensive military exercise just because a bunch of little green men had been sighted in the vicinity.

The Bulimian ambassador to the UN was not entirely happy with this turn of events. Up until now he'd been content to sit in the back and pretend to be listening to whoever was talking on the podium. Now he was expected to take active part in discussions. If only the aliens had landed in Transvestitia instead, he thought.

He had been briefed by Silvio Cagadero on the meeting with the alien spokesman. Now it was his turn to let the world know what the aliens wanted.

"Ladies and gentlemen. Our government has met with the aliens. They have come in peace and wish to return to their home planet as soon as possible. They have only one request."

The ambassador paused for a moment.

"They are inviting a hundred people from Earth to go back with them."

At this, the general assembly burst into an agitated murmur. The chairman had to do his best to quiet down the hall, banging on his gavel and issuing repeated requests to quiet down. When the noise had settled down a bit, he motioned for the Bulimian ambassador to continue.

"The aliens have specified that there should be an even number of males and females. The women should be of childbearing age. The males should be virile."

This statement was enough to send the general assembly into chaos. It took several minutes before the ambassador could again be heard over the noise.

"No other requests or demands have been issued by the aliens. The government of Bulimia suggests that we comply with their request. The government also suggests that each member of the UN choose a male and a female candidate and that the final selection be done by lottery from among the candidates."

The reporters who were following the session were already busy typing on their laptops and talking on their mobile phones. The alien landing had already been the scoop of the century, and the story was only getting better.

The Archfornicator of Canterbury by Olli-Pekka Rinta-Koski
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Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 Australia License.