The Archfornicator of Canterbury

62 Memoirs of an ambassador

It didn't take long for Musilicus to feel right at home in the former office of Horst Hurenschwanz. A stenographer from the KSPB typing pool had been appointed as his personal secretary. Musilicus sat on the chair with his feet on the table. He was dictating his memoirs.

"And then I gave her a pearl necklace. Got that."

"Yes Sir."

His secretary was, as he had requested, quite a good typist with a bosom that defied gravity. Her name was Ingrid Stenmark, and she'd been with the KSPB since graduating from high school.

"Let's have a break. Why don't you go and get me a cup of coffee. Two lumps of sugar. No milk."

"Right away Sir."

Musilicus leaned back on the chair and let out a long sigh. He was definitely enjoying the perks of being an alien ambassador. The voices inside his head returned.

"...we wish to speak to your leader again..."

"...we have a proposition..."

"He's busy right now. I'm sure we'll get a chance to chat again soon. Patience my friends."

The view from the office was quite a sight. King Square was still full of people, the souvenir stalls and yakwurst peddlers had returned. Now, the T-shirts said "MY OTHER CAR IS A SPACE DONUT" and "INTERSTELLAR SPACE LOVER". The enormous space vessel looming on the other end of the square was a sober reminder to everyone that a new era had begun.

A new era of what? Nobody knew, but as always there were lots of inventive theories. The most popular one was that the aliens had come to colonise Earth and enslave mankind. There was no shortage of people who were glad to welcome their new alien overlords. According to another theory, the aliens were in fact humans from the future who had returned to their past to share their advanced technology. This one was generally discredited as far too preposterously philantropic. Yet another theory stated that the alien spaceship was collecting specimens from different planets for an intergalactic zoo somewhere in a galaxy far, far away. It would later turn out that this one wasn't that far off the mark.