The Archfornicator of Canterbury

63 Gentlemen, no fighting in the War Room

The Security Council meeting in the War Room was starting to heat up. Not everyone shared Silvio Cagadero's enthusiasm towards the unexpected alien visitors. The members of the Council were divided in two factions. Cagadero could rely on the support of the Minister of Fisheries and the Minister of Pugilism. It went without saying that Horst Hurenschwanz was with his boss as well. Röövel Ööbik, the Minister of Insults, was the opposing faction's ringmaster. Ööbik's cohorts included the Minister of Finance and the Minister of Yak Herding. The commander-in-chief of the Armed Forces was an unknown quantity who liked to play with his cards close to his chest, and it was safe to say that the Air Force commander would side with him whatever the side would turn out to be.

The Minister of Insults looked like he was about to explode. His skin had turned red, and veins were bulging on his forehead.

"This is just not on. Would we accept such behaviour from any of our neighbours. If the Lobotomians had bombed the Cathedral to bits and then landed their bombers right on King Square I'm sure none of us would side with them."

"This is a very special situation. Lobotomians are not from another planet. This is also a historical moment. I am sure that our beloved country can only benefit from this."

Umbopa Tsutsu, the Minister of Yak Herding, piped in.

"I don't trust these aliens. Who knows what they will come up with. Maybe they're here to harvest us."

"What do you mean by that."

"Maybe mankind was brought from the stars to Earth thousands of years ago. Perhaps this planet is just a big cattle farm. Maybe the aliens eat humans."

At this point, Tsutsu's voice was drowned by various members of the Security Council shouting at each other. Insults were traded, and the situation looked like it would escalate into fisticuffs, when Cagadero banged his oak gavel on the table so vigorously that the handle broke.

"Gentlemen. Absolutely no fighting is allowed in here. This is the War Room."

The yelling mellowed down into a slightly dissatisfied murmur.