The Archfornicator of Canterbury

80 The King and the Crown Prince

By now, even the King had gotten wind of what went on in his realm. Osvald III wasn't too happy about being kept in the dark. He would have much preferred hearing about the alien landing from one of his Ministers, who were after all working for him. He decided to let them hear what he thought about this at the next Cabinet presentation.

The King was sitting in his oval office, sipping port and contemplating whether to light another cigar or not. At that moment, the valet entered.

"Your Highness his Highness the Prince of Lower Bulimia wishes to have a word with you."

"Very well. He may enter."

The valet opened the door for the King's eldest son, Crown Prince Umberto. He was a tall young man whose tanned complexion was very much the result of spending almost all his waking hours doing his favourite sports, yak polo. The King motioned for the Crown Prince to sit down in the chair next to him.

"Good to see you son. Care for a cigar."

"No thanks. I'll have a beer though."

The King didn't have time to respond before the Crown Prince clapped his hands and a valet brought him a bottle of Gainsbourg.

"I assume you have heard the news."

"I had a meeting with Cagadero yesterday."

That's it, the King thought. I am always the last to know about anything that happens in my kingdom. There'll be some changes made.

"And what did the esteemed Minister of Porn and Propaganda have to say."

"He wants me to be the chairman of the selection committee."

"Selection of what."

"Selection of the hundred people to go to the stars."

"Can you be a bit more specific."

"I thought you knew. The aliens have requested that a hundred people from Earth join them on their return trip to Orange. Their home planet."

"I didn't know there was a planet by that name. Is it near Pluto."

"No. It's in the Platypus nebula. Roughly thirteen thousand and five hundred lightyears away."

"Oh. That's quite a long way I believe."

"It is. The pyramids in Egypt hadn't been built when they started their journey to Earth."

"How will humans survive the trip."

"Apparently their technology is quite advanced."

"I see. And what was your answer to the dear Minister."

"I agreed to do it. Didn't sound like it would involve that much work. Apparently they'll be chosen by lottery. We are just to oversee the process."

"Very well. You have my blessings."

I didn't know I came here to seek them, Crown Prince Umberto thought.